Finavi Focus: The Expectation Superpower + Goal Slaying
Expectations, they are with us from before birth and appropriately announced as “expecting”. An exciting and anticipated glimpse into the future. A breath of fresh air in new life. An announcement of a miracle on the way.
They are sewn into the fabric of our lives - from grade school to new jobs, in love and in war, from marriage into parenthood and beyond. Many times we place more importance on the external rather than internal, when it’s the self expectation this is really important. We often live someone else’s truth. Though it might come from a good place (most often from those we love), why do we hold it in higher esteem than what we can deem true.
The first step to slaying your goals is to block out the expectations of others projected on to yourself.
- Finavi Professional Organizing
For example, I started in an industry with a $20k salary out of college and was constantly told that women, especially minority women were not promoted. This was more or less true. So what happened? I formulated the job I wanted in my head, worked every weekend and created reports as if it was my actual job and left them for the executive team to read. Maybe they were tossed in the trash for a while but eventually someone read them and recognized value. At 22 years old, I believed in myself and expected to succeed. I went on to get my six-figure salary 2 years later, took our business from $3M to $46M, and climbed the ladder until I had no where left to go. After 18 years, I left the industry held in high regard by so many that warned me against it. No one expected any of that, maybe not even me.
The first step organizing in this system is to block out the expectations of others projected on to yourself. No one is your own personal fortune cookie, and who listens to those anyway?
Even if they mean well, they are not your reality. Let go of how others have summed you up or let you down and prioritize what you can control: your own wants, needs and expectations.
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
Ask yourself – what is an expectation? Be aware of how the word makes you feel right now. Do you think of self expectations or expectations from those around you first? Are you excited, disappointed, feeling positive or negative about the word? Is it “good” or “bad”?
Challenge yourself to dig deep and define the role expectations have played in your life, the personal experiences that have created your view of them and how you organize them to use them as your personal tools towards success. Do the negative connotations come from letting yourself down, letting someone else down or someone letting you down? Where does the good come from your own personal achievement?
Somewhere along the way, expectations transform from a powerful to filled with anticipation to a source of disappointment, regret anger or shame. They become associated with danger and are to be avoided at all costs. How many times have you heard “Disappointment is a set up for failure” or “Have no expectations and you will have no disappointments”? Save these comments for things that you cannot control and when you must depend on someone else. This is has nothing to do with self expectation – the superpower. Just like the birth of a baby, there will be complications, extreme happiness, lots of tears – a full range of emotions but also learning and growth. Your goal is your baby, raise it to the best your ability.
A positive and realistic expectation for yourself will set you on the path of change and provide a goal to work towards. The goal is your child, a lot of work and many times, it doesn’t go as planned. It’s a challenge but also something that comes from within you and gives you pride no matter what.
You own it.
Not having expectation to avoid disappointment is like saying, “I don’t want any cake because I might want more”. In short, I can’t handle success.
Much in the same way that “we are expecting” welcomes new life, you are put in the position to welcome your own life . Expect learning and growing towards something better, and along those lines you will gain lessons, not failures. Lessons are not a reason to eliminate all types of expectations all together. Instead, they will be the fruit of your journey and should be collected in this way.
Having positive expectations of yourself is a winning mindset.
It allows you a goal and something to anticipate. Just like life, the journey might not be as expected but as long as you are moving – does it really matter?
With our free workbook and the two essential tools that I’ll discuss below, you will learn how to organize your expectations and use them to attain your goals and dreams.
The TWO ESSENTIAL TOOLS
Now that we have changed our view towards expectations and realized that the focus and power is in self expectation, there are two principles that are essential to organizing them efficiently and making them your superpower: Reality and Flexibility.
Reality
In a world where we have been spoiled with immediate results and demand everything faster and faster, expectations of ourselves can become unrealistic. We try to cram as much as we can into every day, sometimes compromising the quality of our actions. We risk settings ourselves up for failure by expecting things that are impossible or have no real base, plan or grounding. (“I’m going to make a million dollars by the end of this year” – How? Why this number? How can I work towards this?)
There’s nothing wrong with dreaming big, but recognize your capacity, the quality you want to produce and the tools that you have available. Work with those first and create a short term action plan. Short term is for the immediate reality. Next, add some long term plans but keep it within realistic reach. Leave room for the unexpected: dreams, pivots and offshoots that you might not expect – this is where you enter ANYTHING including nonrealistic ideas.
D R E A M BIG
But in reality.
With goals defined, an inventory of your tools and a defined set of expectations are you guaranteed success? No, but you have a much better chance than going in blindly. You also have a great chance of exceeding your own expectations.
And this is where the very essential second component of the system comes into play.
Flexibility
The magic is that we are allowed the flexibility to change our views, grow and evolve. We are able to takeaway life lessons and expand on them as needed. As we grow we may come to love certain experiences that we once blocked, we may come to find a way to use them as tools or shy away from them all together. Either way, we choose how we handle them.
Because life is fluid, we need to incorporate flexibility into our expectation and goal planning strategy.
The ability to expect change and provide flexibility is crucial to keeping expectations as a positive tool that you are in control of. Flexibility also allows you the opportunity to change the original game plan, bend with the lessons learned and recognize offshoots that might crop up along the way. Without flexibility, comes the disappointment and regret that might have been felt at an earlier time in life. Remember, expectations are now your friend – embrace the mindset.
Lollipops: You choose the color, but the flavor can be unexpected. Be flexible.
Example, you start towards the goal of becoming a famed artist and painter. You start painting and don’t love it – you can scrap the idea but more importantly you have already identified different options on your goal page. You have considered that you might not like it and you can change. Reread your goal and your why. Something led you to this path – why not explore something else. Maybe you don’t want to be a famed artist but you do want to teach classes and become a world renowned expert. Reset the goal, the why and what you expect. Maybe it’s even as simple as changing the medium – maybe you like watercolor over acrylic.
Having the freedom and grace to adjust your plan is the gem which allows you to expect yourself to always do better for yourself!
Having an organized system to manage expectations will keep you fulfilled and in love with the world of expectations.
Now let’s go take some action and slay some goals!
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What is your biggest goal right now? Comment below.
